Lynn Ciesielski
HOW TO LET GO OF A GROWN CHILD
1
Don’t call her every night just to check in.
2
Don’t cancel plans waiting for her to call.
3
Don’t drive past her apartment at midnight
to see if her car is in the driveway.
4
Paint over purple walls in her old bedroom.
Use primer, three thick coats in a neutral color.
5
Peel plastic “starry night” off bedroom ceiling.
6
Remove school photos from wall and mantel.
Put them in box with dance award certificates.
7
Eat the ice cream sundaes with caramel topping
and whipped cream you’ve avoided for twenty
years of setting good examples.
8
Give up thinking each time you decide on a date,
I wonder how my daughter would feel about it.
9
Avoid Junior’s Departments in clothing stores.
Ignore second pair half off sales on low rise jeans.
10
Write down your regrets. Fold into an airplane.
Throw it off a bridge.
Author’s comment: I raised my daughter, an only child, by myself. We enjoyed an extremely close relationship although she did rebel a fair amount. When she moved out three years ago, I had a terrible case of “empty nest syndrome”. Until I met the man who is now my husband, I was very lonely without her. I am embarrassed to admit that a few points I made in the poem were real. My daughter and I still talk on the phone nearly every day.
Wild Goose Poetry Review 
Love this, Lynn. I am a mother of a sixteen year old daughter. I am going to come back to this poem again and again.
Thank you. That means a lot.
Lynn
I have two “boys” in college now, one about to graduate. I do all of these things (more or less), but I’m still wondering when it will “feel” like we have started to let go.
This is wonderful. I’m the mother of a 2.5-year-old…hard to imagine this stage of life, but reading your poem makes it feel real and alive.